You know how some humans when drunk order a bunch of stuff off Amazon, only to realize when they receive their package what they bought? Well I like to go to the freebies subreddit on Reddit, request a bunch of free stuff, but change my last name so when the free thing arrives I get a laugh. I’m not drunk when this happens, since I don’t drink alcohol. Instead I’m sleep deprived. So it’s kinda the same, but better.
“Are you serious?” I asked her, somehow hoping against hope that she wasn’t. She was quite serious. She was getting in the car and driving to California, with or with out me. She had just gotten off the phone with her agent, she had an audition, which would be “perfect for a first timer” like herself. I couldn’t believe that she could just pack up everything and go like that. Where did she even get the money? Her agent bought her the 2 ‘one way’ plane tickets. After her first gig she would be able to pay her agent back.
‘When do we leave?’ I asked next, knowing that I couldn’t let my best friend go from a small state to California all by herself. She needed me with her for support. It was my duty to be there for her, I don’t think it was even possible for her to go with out me. That would be just stupid. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if that were to happen. She informed me that we were to leave on Friday morning, she claimed today was Wednesday evening.
“Well I might as well go pack.” She told me as she left the room, leaving me staring at an empty food dish. I meowed loudly hoping for her to come back and feed me. ‘Fuck this’ I swatted something off the table.
I have to type this post with one hand, because Boobsie is asleep on my right wrist. His toe beans are touching my fingers, we’re holding paws it’s adorable.
The wind whipped through the dark, empty trees like a warning in a foreign language. Winter was coming, and with winter it also came. It wasn’t wanted, but that didn’t matter. Seasonal Depression struck the worst during this season. “Winter” for Seasonal Depression really meant late fall, or when Halloween decorations become 75-90% off, the crowds at retail stores become more and more over populated, the holidays make anxiety so much worse. The love child of disappointment and guilt that came to life because letting others down, coming in empty handed, or avoiding places altogether. I’m sorry I didn’t bake the nom when I said I would, I couldn’t get out of bed. I’m sorry I didn’t bake the nom when I said I would, my energy was nowhere to be found. I’m sorry I didn’t make the now when I said I would. I’m sorry. Sorry. Sorry for my depression. Is it summer time yet?
Depression has been winning most days…okay it’s winning most of the winter season. Which is one of the reasons why I am so thankful that I was able to succeed in the 13 week culinary class I graduated from summer 2016. I love the job I have, my job as well as texting the chosen three, seem to be the only positive moments I am clinging on to.
Writing seems like such a chore lately. Well, not writing, but finding the motivation to do anything. I feel as though I’m playing “Marco Polo” with my motivation, but neither of us has the energy to call our lines. I was surprised I was able to finish a writing prompt. The bold is the prompt, and italic picks up what I finished.
She told him to try again, and he did, and she couldn’t help but laugh. “I told you, I wasn’t a dancer,” he said protesting. “But you’re an athlete, she said, “you‘re half way there. I’ve seen you on the field, you come out of nowhere and steal the show!”
He grinned his signature sly fox look. “I know. I started a system, when the guys see you approaching, I leap into action. I’m not really an athlete, more of a bench warmer.”
“Are you serious?” She gasped.
“Why? Why put on this act for me?”
“I enjoy messing with others who assume too much.”
She wasn’t laughing anymore, now she was embarrassed. Her smirk turned into a frown.
“Just admit you were wrong to assume. It’s alright, everyone makes an ‘ass outta you and me’ every now and then.”
“I’m never wrong! You lied to me.”
“Yeah, I did. It was totally worth it too.”