“How is molasses spelled?”
I recently got a job! I’m a baker’s assistant! This is a perfect job for me, I’m excited to go to work, and learn more about working in a bakery. For once I actually feel like I deserve getting paid for my job. It’s an unreal feeling, with my past 3 jobs I never felt like I deserved the paycheck. That could be because of my depression and other mental illness surprise box issues, but looking back I still don’t think I deserved getting the money for the jobs. I put a lot of hard work into my jobs, but I never felt noticed enough for the hard work….probably because of severe depression…
Today marks that I have had my blog for a year! It’s a nice accomplishment, I never thought that I would actually have followers. I started the blog as a way to escape both my mind and reality. It can be so noisy in my mind, and reality can be exhausting, so by blogging, I figured I can rant my thoughts out to anyone that wanted to listen. Watching the number of “humans creeped on this blog” increase has been very exciting! Having friends tell me that my blog has helped them, is incredible. Just what the whaaaat? Really? Whoa. I’ve been told that I have a great voice in writing, but my birth giver told me that, it was getting to the point where I was questioning if she was just saying that since she birthed me? Then friends were telling me that I’m a really great writer, but still I was questioning, is it because they’re my friends so of course they tell me my writing is great…I really am my biggest critic, for writing as well as the baked noms I make.
I’ve seen so many memes about how 2016 has been a horrible year, but I strongly disagree. I don’t want to say that I’m happy, because I will end up jinxing myself somehow…so I’m a strong content. I still have days where my depression is stronger, or my anxiety has a surge, so deep breathing doesn’t decrease the attacks, but for the most part I’m doing alright.
One of my strong complaints at the moment is that my allergy to dairy is obnoxious. I work in a bakery, 3 days a week for 5 hours. So that being said I’m surrounded by butter, milk, creamer, sour cream, cheeses, and so much dairy! I wear gloves, I’m washing my hands, I’m changing my gloves constantly, and yet I’m still having to flee to the bathroom because of the pain I’m in. Which usually comes with the anxiety of being scared of what if I have to give up this job? I then tell myself: “Fuck that noise!”
I worked earlier today, so that meant I had to wake up around 5:30am so I could arrive at the bakery a few minutes before 8am (when I had to clock in) I clocked out around 1:20pm, when I arrived back to Potato Manor (my house) I flopped on my bed and soon passed out. It’s exhausting work, but I love it so much. Plus that much interaction with humans tires me out. I am an introvert, so I need time to recharge after being in public. Which means I grab some snacks, something to drink, my baby…aka MacBook Pro, wait for Bobo to take up a good chunk of my queen size bed, and just relax. If something is too far for me to reach, well that sucks for me. I’ll try to parkour it, by seeing how far I can stretch to get it without having to leave my bed, but also not dying since the floor is lava.
The best way to hang out with my friends is sitting near each other on our phones, computers, reading books, just relaxing in each other’s company. My SMFF and I will sit in the same room and send dank memes or funny videos to each other on our phones. I love being next to a friend when they are reading or on their computer, or if I’m really lucky I get to watch them play video games. I love watching my friends play video games, it’s like listening to someone talk about something they love. It’s wonderful.
I’m exhausted still…but I wanted to do a blog post today because of it being a year ago I started this blog.