True Life: I’m an unplug-able Vegetable

As I was looking at my snapchat subscriptions stories I noticed this one particular article from the Cosmopolitan story. I then of course had to go to the website to find this article on my laptop screen because I’m privileged so I’m going to flaunt it…I will also call out others on their privilege. I’m looking at you cheese eaters, do you know how lucky you are?! Or bald humans! You’re so privileged! I have to shave my head every 2 months basically to feel the best…2 months is pushing it.

If you, my dear reader, are curious how I went from snapchat stories to calling out the privileged then you must be new. Welcome to my blog! I’m Potato, well my given name is Keely, I’m seriously thinking of changing it to Potato though. I’m a special kind of vegetable, you can’t unplug me. Well you can try, I suppose but I’ll be back to haunt you.

On to the article that spiked my interest! As a changeling who loves to be bald, this clickbait title sucked me in quickly. (“That’s What” – She)
10 Ways You Could Cause Hair Loss With Things You Do All The Time:

1. Taking birth control 

2. Going on a juice cleanse.

3. Not washing your hair enough.

4. Regularly wearing tight hairstyles.

5. Enduring stress over an extended period of time.

6. Experiencing regular heavy periods.

7. Taking prescription drugs.

8. Overusing hot tools.

9. Heat styling wet hair.

10. Applying chemical treatments.

According to Cosmopolitan those are the 10 ways, I have no idea if they are correct. I didn’t research it, I just saw the title, got my hopes up, and am now making a blog post about it.

  1. I am on birth control, I always tend to forget that I have it until there is some spotting. Then I think I’m dying…only to remember I have the female curse. We’re all dying everyday some of us just get there faster than others. You may quote me on that.
  2. I’m not on a juice cleanse…I’m not on any diet really. My reason is it’s harder to be kidnapped if you’re fat..so eat cake and you’ll be safe. You may also quote me on this.
  3. I rarely have hair to wash though!
  4. I don’t have enough hair for hairstyles…but when I did, I would wear tight ponytails because I hated my curly hair so a tight ponytail was the best option.
  5. When I am stressed it only happens for long periods of time, I’ve never been stressed for a short period of time. Is that even a thing? Do humans only get stressed for short time periods???
  6. Ew. Thank you birth control for not making that happen to me.
  7. Guilty. I’m on happy meds, allergy meds, anxiety meds, and sleep meds.
  8. Does a hot shower count? My hair isn’t long enough for a hair straightener. Although when it was, I rarely used it because it was so time consuming it wasn’t worth it. PLUS MY HAIR WOULD JUST BECOME CURLY AGAIN ONCE IT GOT WET.
  9. I did use my hair straightener when my hair was wet. I liked the sizzle sound.
  10. Does bleach count? If I bleach what is left of my hair will that help me reach 100% hair loss? I have had my hair bleached before, then dyed pink. I loved it pink, not the length, but the color yes!

I think I’m a victim of clickbait…what else is new though. I was entertained writing this post. Hopefully you were as well.

~SirChangeling

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