I’ve been wanting to write another blog post, Fo honey nut cheerios! Writing calms Scott, which is the name of my anxiety. (Have I done a post about how my anxiety named itself yet? I don’t remember…) The click clacking of the keyboard is soothing which is odd because I’m not a great typer, words flow better when I have a pen in my hand. I dunno why but it feels as though thoughts are going from my mind, trickling down my head, dripping down my neck, streaming down my arms, then plip plopping down through my fingers only to then splash on the page. By the time I notice I have 5 handwritten pages of thoughts by yours truly: Satan.
Last week in class (CKA) it was ServSafe week, which meant that on Friday the 10th I had the Exam. If it makes any difference the Exam was for the manager’s edition of ServSafe.By the end of the week I had bloodied flesh wounds as well as a concussion! WhooHoo test anxiety!
I was walking to the bus stop on Friday morning listening to music, (dancing along because I was in a music video duh) reviewing study questions, trying to keep Scott from interfering, when I felt myself falling. Unfortunately it was one of those falls where I couldn’t stop myself, so I just let it happen. Luckily I was wearing jeans that covered my legs, plus a sweatshirt that covered my arms. (Pros of being always cold I guess?) However I still bloodied up my right knee and elbow. After sitting up, trying to hold back the waterworks, failing I knew I wouldn’t be able to catch the bus. Calling an uber wasn’t going to work, I had no choice but to call my birth giver. Trying to explain that I fell through cries was difficult. I managed to walk back to Potato Manor (4 minutes) then waited for her to come back from work to help me get to class so I can take this Exam. I cried for at least a hour. Fucking anxiety.
I walked into class with a Venti iced tea from Starbucks because that’s how I roll. Literally walked in late with Starbucks. I hope that never happens again, because I hate being late. I will however continue to walk into class with Starbucks in my hand.
I took the Exam.
Continued the next 4 days despite being very dizzy. Yesterday morning I went to the ER to get my head checked for a concussion. As well as 4 x-rays on my right elbow just incase. No fractures thankfully.
While in the ER (with lots of anxiety, I hate the hospital) I managed to make the nurses laugh, so eh I suppose that’s a good thing. Oh! I actually had a nice, helpful doctor when I went in! I thought that only happened on TV??
Highlights of my trip to the ER:
- Before x-rays the nurse asked me if there was a chance I was pregnant. My response: “Not unless it’s the Anit-Christ….No I’m not pregnant.”
- I made beeping noises while the nurses backed the rolling bed into the room I started out in. Other nurses approved. Years of sound effects pays off. I shall keep continuing.
- Told the nurse at the end that “an air pocket + my anxiety was the reason I fell.”
- When told no contact sports for the following week or so I responded “I don’t even watch sports…wait, is sleeping considered a contact sport? My head and pillow make contact.”
7 weeks into the class, I get a concussion, however I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I made 3 dairy free ice cream flavors last night as well.
The noms in the containers with the green & red lids are Matcha flavored, the container with the orange lid is a chocolate peanut butter with a dash of espresso powder flavored nom, then the container with the blue lid has peppermint flavored noms.