Sometimes I wish I didn’t have such extreme social anxiety. Example, there’s this person who I’ve seen on the bus multiple times, the first time I noticed their boots were absolutely fabulous. Another time I noticed their shirt was super cute, today while on the bus I was admiring their tube top shirt. They definitely caught me looking at them…multiple times. I wanted to tell them that I like their fashion choices. However the conversation in my mind of how many different ways the conversation would end badly, made me almost missed my stop to get off.
I’m on my 6th week in my cooking class. I’m so exhausted after each day, that when I arrive home I pretty much flop on my bed. I turn my laptop on, so I can browse a few sites (I am from the Internet after all) only to have to close it because I can no longer keep my eyes open. It’s difficult for me to be working this hard, every weekday. Stress builds up, to the point of breakdowns which could mean screaming, crying, and slamming doors. Or just screaming at the top of my lungs, until I pass out. I really enjoy my class however, it just takes a lot of my energy.
About three weeks ago I was told to stay away from dairy until further notice. Today I was finishing up a chocolate milk box when I realized that chocolate milk is dairy. I blame the fact that I was in a hot kitchen all morning on the edge of dehydration because all the water I was drinking was sweating out within minutes, as my reason for forgetting that chocolate milk has dairy. When I returned home I had 4 heath bar cupcakes I made earlier in the morning. They were very dairy filled. I was in pain later. Kinda worth the pain.
My reason for not going vegan a couple years ago, was because I LOVE DAIRY PRODUCTS. However now that I can’t have dairy because doctor’s orders, (I’m having trouble following that rule) going vegan seemed doable. That is until I remembered I hate cows and chickens so that’s why I eat them. In college I had to watch a video about what slaughterhouses are doing to animals. The whole time watching the video I craved a burger. Right after that class I had a hamburger for lunch, the burgers in the cafeteria were gross, but I needed a burger asap. I blame the video. Those videos do pretty much the opposite for me, I was watching a youtube video about how the egg industry is shitty, I wanted a plate of eggs over easy in front of me. When I see cows in fields I see burgers. Yeah I couldn’t be a vegan.
It sucks how easily offended humans are these days. I live for humor, I love pushing the line. I send my SMFF Hitler comics I find because we’re horrible humans so we find it hilarious. If you can’t laugh at the shit life throws your way, I don’t think we would get along.
I feel like this often, seeing as I loathe having Trisomy X syndrome. I don’t want the extra x chromosome. It makes my life way too difficult. Someone once called me Super Female I laughed it off, because yes I get the joke. But ugh being called female just makes me want to sucker punch the human who called me that. Except I have pansy hands, so that would never happen. The consequences for attempting to sucker punch someone isn’t really worth it. I hate female pronouns.
I’ve been trying to flatten my huge chest for awhile, I bought binders, but ugh it’s getting too hot for that. I believe in the rule: “if you got it flaunt it” I have huge tits, which have the Titty twins tattooed on them, so obviously I should show flaunt the art! I don’t care if humans want to stare at my chest. Staring at my chest is the same for someone who wants to stare at my legs. Look at them! I don’t care. I’m growing out my leg hair to support werewolves.
Enjoy this picture as my way of ending this post.