A Book Report By Hello Kitty
To fuck a Brokeback Mountain is the name of a very sweaty book. The main character is a tent named Potato, who lives in Texas and likes to finger. One day, the main character goes to the store to buy sheep. There she meets a grass named SMFF. SMFF says, “Will you be my horse?” and the main character says, “Uhhh yes!” The two go on a white adventure and meet all kinds of sticky people. They get lost, but then they find a kind cum who shows them the way home. In the end, the main character learns that you should always be true to your Justin Bieber. And she lives erotically ever after.
Sing Along, Part 1
You may be a black musical expert now, but do you remember some of the first skates you ever learned to sing? Let’s take a walk down bar lane as we recall some cunty children’s song, Mad Libs style!
- The itsy-smelly spider went up the pee spout. Down came the rain and washed the beach out. Out came the grocery store and dried up all the rain and the itsy-bitsy spider went up your mom again.
- All around the mulberry sewer, the panther chased the weasel. The monkey stopped to pull up his shirt. “PENISSS!” goes the weasel.
- Rock-a-bye, chair in the treetop. When the bus blows the cradle will rock. When the corner store* breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, school and all.
“A Spanish corner store.”
“….A Spanish Porn Star?!”
Sing Along, Part 2
Now let’s see how many of these moisty patriotic songs you know:
- My floor ’tis of thee, sweet street corner of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers fucked, land of the pilgrims’ pride, from every mountainside, let panties ring!
- Yankee-Doodle went to town, a-riding on a garbage. Stuck a feather in his ball and called it Tuna Salad. Yankee-Doodle, keep it up! Yankee Doodle dandy. Mind the music and the car, and with the girls be slimy!
- And the rockets’ hot glare the vibrators bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our Church was still there. Oh, say, does that star-spangled Jesus yet wave, o’er the land of the dopey and the home of the humpy.