Well I was originally going to write about my issue with IHOP, but I always get worked up about it. Right now I can’t write too much due to having wrist tendonitis so I have to wear my brace for 2 weeks. My brace is signed, which is the only great thing about being in extreme pain. I was always envious of kids in school with their broken bones, cool color casts that everyone wanted to sign. No one would sign my bandaid.
I’ve been wearing this brace for a week already, I have to continue wearing it for 2 more weeks! Today has been tough too.
- I saw a bird fly a couple feet in front of me at Costco was too scared to scream (being too scared to scream happens to me all the time) so I walked over 3 aisles or so and made it to safety.
- This lady came up to me and was about to walk away with my cart, except it was her cart. So the embarrassment from that plus still trying to get my heart to slow down did not help.
- I ran into a different aisle and hid behind my phone. I couldn’t take it anymore my birth giver was telling me “it’s okay. You’re okay” as she was getting one of my anxiety decreaser tablets.
However telling me I’m okay basically makes me get worse. Next thing I remember is running out of Costco, getting into the car and just screaming 6-8 times. Full on screams letting the pile up of stress out of my system. Did it help? Fuck yes it did! I never had a panic attack at work where I could just scream it out, which was probably why I kept having the daily attacks. I never got to scream it out. Apparently there was a guy in the car next to me when I was releasing the kraken of screams, oh well.
Needless to say after I was able to get all the screams out as well as tears, I have been drained of energy. This all happened around 1:15pm so 3 hours ago, I did eat the first meal of my day soon afterwards: pizza with green peppers.
I’m in pain, sleepy, stressed, basically I’m dying. We’re all dying everyday, some people just get there faster than others.