We’re such assholes, Yeah it’s great!

Phone calls with my Soul Mate in Friend Form are the only phone conversation I can have without anxiety attacks. They last anywhere from 8 minutes to about 2 hours, (the phone calls, not my anxiety attacks. Those last anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours) the conversations are always jumping in different directions. Ermahgerd sheΒ is so damn quiet on the other end I’m pretty sure the call was lost or something, since she is so fucking silentΒ on the other end there are times where I’m just talking into my phone for 10 minutes because the call was lost or her phone died. So then I have to Facebook message her asking what was the last thing she heard. Ugh technology.

Our recent phone call was reminiscing college memories.
SMFF: Do you remember whatsherface? She was a total bitch, she was in my major as well as that acting club.
Me: Was she the one with short brown hair, glasses, a cute figure, plus huge boobs? I’m totally not straight.
SMFF: I don’t think she had a cute figure, but yes to the rest.
Me: I think we’re thinking of the same person.
SMFF: She got all mad at that whole issue you had with that upperclassman.
Me: OH! Yes we’re thinking of the same person. My issue with that other person was completely taken out of proportion I made a tumblr post without using any names, made it quite vague, but still it was found out. Then her friends attacked me, so I tried to get the main person not to walk at graduation because I’m an asshole like that. Looking back the whole thing is hilarious.
SMFF: We’re such assholes.
Me: Yeah it’s great!

There was more to the conversation, but college memories was the main focus. That plus how we are horrible humans in the sense that our humor is highly offensive to other humans,Β but we’re both okay with it. We know our audience, but sometimes we don’t care, we both love seeing the reactions from others. I was telling her I know when not to cross the line when in public. I will inch towards the line, sashay towards the line, sometimes even trip and fall towards the line! However I make sure to fall back not to go over the line.

When the two of us are together it’s so comforting for the both of us. We get so many looks from pedestrians walking by, perhaps it’s from our loud laughter at inappropriately timed jokes or…no that’s probably why we get those looks.

Me: I was remembering when blah visited me 2 summers ago, and when The Shopping Cart made that offensive comment.
SMFF: I remember you telling me that. That was such a dick comment.
Me: Yeah….
SMFF: Are you still laughing at that?
Me: No…Why do you think that?
SMFF: I can hear you laughing!
Me: When The Shopping Cart made that comment I tried so hard not to laugh right then and there! I don’t think I succeeded. He said such an offensive comment, omg he is such a dick.
SMFF: Look at us, we’re laughing over this. We’re such assholes.
Me: Yeah.

I’m so glad I have snapchat. SMFF doesn’t use snapchat as much as I do, but sometimes when I least expect it I get a beautiful snap. What’s great with snapchat is the filters distort faces or you can add things. ART!!

chocolate!We’re great at reenacting cartoons.

After I dropped out of college (I love saying that, I don’t see how saying I left because I was at the point of thinking about suicide since I was so stressed is considered a frowned upon thing? I dropped out of college to better myself. I don’t want to go back!) SMFF told me how some humans went up to her asking where her girlfriend was? My first thought: Awww they cared! Second thought: hahaha they thought we were lesbians! I can check that off now, being so close to someone other humans think we’re lesbians. I feel like I leveled up in life.

~SirChangeling

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