I’ve tried watching Netflix, but I’m not a TV or Movie Buff. I’ll watch stand up comedy, however if I’m not entertained within the first 3 minutes I’m exiting out of Netflix. Movies are hard to watch, since I think I want to watch the movie, but 10 minutes later I realize how listening to music while scrolling down Reddit is a MUCH better idea.
Which bring me to the main thought for this post: I should stop reading horror stories on Reddit, they are giving me too much anxiety. I should unsubscribe to these subreddits to look at the cats subreddit. Will I do that? No. Well yes I’ll continue to look at the cats subreddit, cats are our world leaders after all! The no is because I will not unsubscribe even though I end up in a ton of anxious messes. I have my reasons for doing this, I’m trying to see if I can build up my wall so that when I go out in public I’m alright enough that I won’t have an instant panic attack.
Now is a good time to say that this is the subreddit I read from. Retail horror stories are so traumatizing for me, I sometimes think living in Hollywood’s dream of what horror stories are actually like would be safer. I’ve been yelled at to the point of tears because I didn’t give someone a coupon. I’ve been told “go to Hell” because I didn’t give someone a coupon. (Side note: I make sure to tell the deserving humans “I hope you go to Heaven when you die” I pause before following up with “I plan on going to Hell, I don’t want to deal with you in the afterlife.”)
For someone like me with extreme anxiety, trying to be the one in control over my anxiety is hard when there is so much noise. Noise of angry customers, yelling because I was asking too many questions (I had to ask those questions, it’s part of the register job description) Thanks to all those customers who yelled at me to the point where I had to hold in panic attack after panic attack, I try my best not to be “that customer” when I go shopping or go out to eat. If my order is wrong for food, I won’t go up to the counter or inform someone my order is wrong. I will force myself to eat it. I don’t like wasting food, so unless the food is absolutely disgusting I will do whatever I can not to make a scene. If for some reason I do go up to let a worker know my order was wrong I had been having a 20 minute debate with myself before I decided to talk. There are some places I don’t go to anymore, Dunkin Donuts being one of them, I’ve avoided locations because of my anxiety while being there. It’s not the workers fault, it’s my fear of being “that customer.”
My goal is to see how many of these stories about how humans confuse other humans for workers, customers being rude, plus other retail horror stories, I can read without having to stop because my anxiety is too strong. So far the number is 5. Other times I just read a really long post.
Good news: the anxiety attack I have been trying to go away is finally going away. I’m also getting sleepy again. Which isn’t surprising I’m exhausted after anxiety attacks. This post took me a hour to write, which meant that my anxiety attack has been 1.5 hours long. Luckily it was only a short attack.
P.S. Hopefully this post shows you not to be a dick towards workers in stores and restaurants.