Happy Holidays from SirChangeling & Bob the Boulder + his pet duck!

I am very single. I have never been in a romantic relationship, I’ve been on dates I even managed to have a second date once! We watched Zoolander on my bed it was awkward but I liked how nothing was expected. We were able to watch the movie and then he left. I never heard from him again after that night because he moved to Nevada.

I’ve tried online dating, okcupid, POF, and tinder. Okcupid was the best option with the most features because I am not going to pay for a dating site. I did pay for a dating site one time I then got catfished. I’ll stick to being catfished for free thanks. Tinder was boring until I started swiping right for every cat picture I saw, I don’t think I was using the app correctly. I had a few matches but the conversations never got to the point to meet up. I pictured the meet ups a bunch of times “Sooo what’s your cat’s name? Can I see your cat? I only swiped right because there was a cat in one of your pictures. Cats are amazing and anyone with a cat must be amazing, but I’m going to need to see your kitty.”

I deleted all my online dating accounts a couple months ago, the random hook ups were fun 3 years ago but I don’t want just a random hook up. The first couple ones were fun, but then it felt more like a chore. ‘Gotta go find someone to try and date. I need to pretend to be normal online so when I meet up I will never be contacted again.’ Honestly I don’t want to hang out with someone in public, I don’t do well in public places. I have extreme anxiety, I’m trying to build myself up to a point where I can handle being in loud places for more than 30 minutes but it takes a lot out of me. Mainly because I’m trying to hold in anxiety attacks until I can’t take it anymore, which at that point I’m shaking and debating where I can run and hide to. Usually there’s no where because there are humans everywhere!

I don’t leave my house unless it’s for work, going to work is how I get my socializing from humans, other than that I text the Chosen 3, or talk to my pets. It would be nice I suppose to be in a romantic relationship but I have been procrastinating my gender and sexuality since the 7th grade and am just starting to acknowledge it. Thankfully I don’t have anyone asking me why I’m still single, probably because anyone who would ask that can see for themselves why I’m still single. However just incase I have made up scenarios of what I would say if someone asked me “Potato how are you still single?” If this every happened in real life I would fail the mission, since I’m horrible with verbal communication I would just dramatically derp at them while I trip over my words as I try and remember what I would say during the moment.

There is actually a point to this post by the way. I have been decreasing my BuzzFeed marathons because BuzzFeed has gotten to the point where they’re bothering me again, their posts are really focused on either couples or showing single humans. That’s exactly what I DON’T want to see as I’m distracting myself from my depression. So BuzzFeed marathons are going on a break. I’ve picked up pintrest marathons for Basic White Bitch Treats of Nom (I love baking!) as well as reddit marathons for humor. I’ve been known to order free stickers when I need a pick me up. I do love looking at the (nsfw) eye candy I recently found the best (sfw) subreddit ever!
I got distracted again…oops. Anyway earlier today I decided to make a holiday card for my friends on Facebook. All 59 of them! I don’t understand how humans can have hundreds or thousands of Facebook friends. How do you keep up with all of them?

holiday photo 3

“Bob the Boulder, Bob’s pet duck and I want to wish everyone happy holidays. Remember glitter is the herpes of craft supplies so craft responsibly!”

Bob the Boulder is my pet rock that I found on the side of the road, I would pass him when I would walk to work. I brought a reusable bag with me one day and picked him up so when I got to work I had Bob in a cloth bag. My coworkers looked at me, but I don’t think any of them were surprised. Bob’s pet duck is a surfer duck that came out of a claw machine that had the slogan “winner every time!” Those are the best claw machines.

So the point of this post? I had a photo shoot with my pet rock and his pet duck because I’m very single and haven’t found a human that I’m interested in romantically who could handle me. However I have been procrastinating my gender & sexuality for the past 11 years.

~SirChangeling

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2 Comments

  1. I don’t know whether to laugh or be serious and nod like a proper lady.
    Oh well, its filed under humour so “lol”.
    Now onto less serious issues, I can’t tell you to overcome your fears because that would be just hypocritical of me as well as extremely poke nose-y, so I’ll just say, nice picture! Its really funny and its what atttacted me to your post in the first place.
    Merry Christmas!

    Like

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