Posted in Lists

I’m a knock off Dementor, I absorb laughter from humans.

Whenever I can’t sleep I don’t find ways to try and sleep I go searching the internet for stupid jokes. Why sleep when I can google “cheesy jokes” and avoid my issues that I should be focusing on? I LOVE cheztastic jokes, puns, and dad jokes. I would test the jokes I found on coworkers, friends or anyone who would listen to me. I like to make others laugh. I live off laughter.

Cheztastic jokes:

  • Why did the tomato blush?
    It saw the salad dressing.
  • What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?
    Dr. Dre
  • Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke?
    joke, joke, jooooooooookeeeeeeeee
  • 2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff
    Badum Tssss
  • What music genre is popular with chez?
    R & Brie
  • What goes in longish and hard, but comes out soft and sticky?
    Chewing gum. (I received the best reaction, when I put a baguette in its bag)
  • Fart is 75% art
  • What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
    A Private tutor.
  • What did O say to Q?
    Yo! Put it away!
  • What do you call a pile of cats?
    A meowtain
  • What do you call a dog with no legs?
    It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come.
  • What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
    Aye Matey!
  • And the lord said unto John “come fourth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
  • A magic tractor drives down the road and turns into a field.
  • What do you call a camel with no humps?
  • How do you confuse a blonde?
    Paint yourself green and throw forks at them.
  • Why isn’t Hellen Keller a good driver?
    Because she’s dead.
  • Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going the bathroom?
    Because its dead.
  • 2 mice are chewing on a film roll one goes “I think the book was better.”
  • What’s clear and smells like red paint?
  • A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says “nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.”
  • How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    Unique up on it.
  • How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    Tame way, unique up on it.
  • The earth is a cup, because it can hold things.
  • My puns may be pretty chezy but I think they’re pretty gouda!
  • If you were to line up all your organs from end to end, you would die.
  • What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
  • Why is 6 afraid of 7?
    Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
  • Is it hot in here? Or is it just my social anxiety making my body heat rise?
  • A man walks into a zoo, the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It’s a shitzu.
  • What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?


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