Whenever I can’t sleep I don’t find ways to try and sleep I go searching the internet for stupid jokes. Why sleep when I can google “cheesy jokes” and avoid my issues that I should be focusing on? I LOVE cheztastic jokes, puns, and dad jokes. I would test the jokes I found on coworkers, friends or anyone who would listen to me. I like to make others laugh. I live off laughter.
- Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
- What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?
- Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke?
joke, joke, jooooooooookeeeeeeeee
- 2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff
- What music genre is popular with chez?
R & Brie
- What goes in longish and hard, but comes out soft and sticky?
Chewing gum. (I received the best reaction, when I put a baguette in its bag)
- Fart is 75% art
- What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A Private tutor.
- What did O say to Q?
Yo! Put it away!
- What do you call a pile of cats?
- What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come.
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
- And the lord said unto John “come fourth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
- A magic tractor drives down the road and turns into a field.
- What do you call a camel with no humps?
- How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at them.
- Why isn’t Hellen Keller a good driver?
Because she’s dead.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going the bathroom?
Because its dead.
- 2 mice are chewing on a film roll one goes “I think the book was better.”
- What’s clear and smells like red paint?
- A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says “nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.”
- How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
- How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.
- The earth is a cup, because it can hold things.
- My puns may be pretty chezy but I think they’re pretty gouda!
- If you were to line up all your organs from end to end, you would die.
- What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
- Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
- Is it hot in here? Or is it just my social anxiety making my body heat rise?
- A man walks into a zoo, the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It’s a shitzu.
- What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?